Mr Northern

Originally posted on TinyLetter on 1st December 2020

'How are you going to make this not sappy, where is the edge going to be?'

I have known Mr Northern for 21 days. I just had to check that because it didn't seem right. But it is in fact just 21 days in total. However, as my friends Kimeya and Eli pointed out, the pandemic and lockdown is like Big Brother or Love Island and a day is like a week in any potential 'relationship'. I would like to add a disclaimer that I am not in an official relationship, before anyone starts sweating. But this reality tv speed made me consider things like: do I want to try monogamy with someone who is hitting all the right boxes? Shall I delete The Apps? Do I lock off all the other dudes in my WhatsApp inbox and slide them into the archive?

In those 21 days we have spent a weekend together (illegal don't tell Boris, or do, I don't actually care) spoken on the phone and laughed hysterically about the shipping forecast locations, voice noted stupid songs and sounds to each other, and tell each other that we miss each other about x100 a day. Which prompted him to ask me when his Dick Appointment was going to be written, what his pseudonym would be and “how are you going to make this not sappy, where is the edge going to be?”'.

I have never spoken to someone for such a short time and without mentioning sex on OKCupid without moving to WhatsApp before. We spoke about how much we fucking hate centrists, openly creeped on each others Instas then just swapped numbers. I would not have done this if I wasn't so fucking obsessed with his face. I outright asked him if he liked fucked up sex, and sent him my cute little BDSM copy pasta. It was met with much enthusiasm and assurance that we would get on.

Everything felt so easy, I divulged so much so quickly. Things about myself I don't talk about till I have known people a long time, things I liked about sex, even deep fetish stuff I have told a handful of people ever. Again met with enthusiasm. Within days we slid into a very easy D/lgdynamic.

In my experience there are two types of the Daddy men. There are ones who will demand you call them Daddy with absolutely no context or warning and it is disgusting. Then there are ones who say let's see what kind of dynamic we naturally fall into and then we decide. I have done D/lg before, mainly because I am a bratty submissive with a tendency to be quite cute and innocent. I don't super like proper age play, it is more of a mindset rather than anything else. I just like being taken advantage of and feeling vulnerable in a very specific way. We didn't even need to try, it just happened. He described it as ”when a puzzle piece fits its instant”.

He is Daddy and I am a myriad of almost condescending names like baby, baby girl, little girl, and they just make me feel very small and special and devoted. Like all I want to do is make him happy and please him, but in a different way to when I have had a Master or Sir. There are fewer tasks to do, it is more about being obedient and good. Well behaved. If he is busy, I feel like a sad puppy waiting at the window for when my owner will come back from war. I will openly admit that sometimes I just go and stare at his selfies. I want to stare at his face, and then lick the gap between his front teeth whilst he pins me down.

We met a week after we first started speaking. He came to my house. Now I have had many first meets where we are all aware that we will be fucking. But usually we meet up in a hotel or Airbnb and hang out for a bit, chat, make things less awkward about the fact we are going to have first time sex and then spend the rest of the night together which will involve eating, pissing in a toilet that is less than a metre away from the bed and is not soundproof, and deciding on a film or something to watch between fucking again. That’s only if the sex was good too. Pray that they don't snore either, or just fall asleep before you. Men just fall asleep anywhere don't they, and always first. I don't understand it.

When Mr Northern arrived at my house I was absolutely beside myself. I waited at the front door step because he couldn't actually see it in the dark as my council like to keep us in darkness and turn off the streetlights in my close to save electricity. I waved like a dickhead as he pulled up. A giant 6'1" toddler over-enthusiastically bouncing up and down and waving. But I didn't really care. He grabbed me and pulled me in tight for a hug and dug his fingers hard into my back. I felt woozy and that stomach flip that also gives you that twinge that lets you know that you are about to get extremely wet too. We ran up to my room and I looked up at him and we just started kissing hard and fast. Good kissing, where you can't get enough of the other person and your lip is in their mouth and their tongue is working with your tongue.

I was naked except for this catholic school girl style skirt I got from ASOS and the zip got stuck. He helped me unzip it, calmly, as getting stuck in clothes is terrifying for me, since the time I got stuck in a wrap over jumper in Topshop changing rooms and my best friend Maxine had to come in and help me out after hearing my panicked yelps. Only for her to do the same thing the next day.

Then he just touched all of my body. I joked and asked if I was soft like he imagined and not like sandpaper (which I assumed was the opposite of soft). If you are fat, it is in my experience that you do not like having your stomach touched. Either people with a fetish want to feel you up for your rolls or maybe some other innocuous reason, maybe someone just genuinely likes your body and they want to feel you, but the way they paw at it makes you feel uncomfortable. Or even worse somehow, they avoid it at all costs. But when he was feeling my body, when he got to my stomach it didn't feel weird or odd. It felt normal and I didn't pull away. I did comment on it and he was mildly surprised. Maybe it is a comfort and ease thing, but I didn't think about it again and I was naked for roughly 85% of the time.

OK so. Sometimes no matter how bad you want something, especially the first time, it just doesn't work out. I absolutely would not sugar coat Dick Appointments and I want to normalise the fact that some positions just do not work. In fact I can hand on heart say that I have never done the same position twice with different regular partners. It has always been a different thing for a different person. It turns out that two extremely tall people cannot do missionary. Even with cushions. A younger me would have been mortified. But sometimes sex is messy, and awkward and funny and silly and goes wrong. All you can do is laugh, slow it down and try something else.

After pinning me down, halfway on my side and my front in a semi foetal position, yanking my hair (to the point I thought it might fall out in an Ariana Grande style pony tail clump) to hold me in place whilst he force fingering my g spot, I begged him to fuck me again. This time, in this similar spoon position where he could reach round and grab my throat and choke me out andfuck me. I just wanted to fuck him back harder but I couldn't breathe, I just lay there gasping for breath as he fucked me slamming me into him holding my throat for leverage, all I could do was squeeze around his dick as I felt him cum inside me. I love it when you can actually feel someone cum too, twitching inside you. For me it is the ultimate job done as a submissive. You have served your purpose.

After a quick joke about who was going to lay in the wet patch (me, sometimes being subby is shite) I went to the toilet. I caught sight of my tits and back and they were covered in bruises and scratches and marks and I did an actual gasp. Like I was in a period drama. I mean covered. I touched them, really gently, they were sore but in a pleasant way. I knew that after Mr Northern had left they would still be there, irritating me ever so slightly, letting me know he had been there. Marking his territory.

We spent the rest of our time curled up in my sheets, laughing hysterically, kissing, fucking, looking at each other, getting deep, remembering to eat stuff, falling asleep together and rinse and repeat until he had to go. I did not want him to go. Normally I am like BYEEE SEE YA. Then I can stretch out in my bed and vape and scroll on my phone uninterrupted for hours. But I wanted him to shrink me down and take me with him. I clung on like a needy koala bear, and then just waited for his text to say he was safe home. Or safe in Aldi anyways. Normally this needy behaviour is not something I would usually confess to, or even be doing. But the dynamic is such that there is this desperate wanting to be wrapped up in each other, it is almost depraved.

So, do I want to try monogamy with someone who is hitting all the right boxes? Shall I delete the apps? Do I lock off all the other dudes in my WhatsApp inbox and slide them into the archive? Yeah I think I do, and whilst I am in no rush to lock anything down in official terms, I am excited to see where Mr Northern and I go.

In case you thought oh no, Charlotte has become the ultimate sap, where will we get exciting filthy stories from now? I am pleased to tell you that I have started an Onlyfans. So I am still able to get my unfathomable need for attention from there too, and you will absolutely be hearing about this more next week. But if you want to subscribe... you can do so here