Astronomical intimacy

The extreme vulnerability of performing role play

People are so afraid of roleplay as a concept. Mainly because it is perceived as very cringe. The thought conjures up the image of cheap Anne Summers costumes, ‘cheeky’ spanking, and cheesy ideas of “who’s been a bad boy then?” There is also the equally valid position of making yourself vulnerable to someone - an absurd and terrifying prospect frankly! So actually having to explain and then play out a long held secret fantasy you’ve held in your head, can only go one of two ways; amazing or very very badly.

I have experienced both good and bad roleplay scenarios before. When I was much younger I confessed a huge fantasy (if not fetish) to my long term boyfriend. He was reasonably understanding although due to poor experiences before, he was of the opinion that being into BDSM and giving into fetishes made you a Sex Person, and kinky sex became your entire personality. I have met people like this many times (hello Fetlife) but as I was exploring my sexuality more and more, he became more reluctant. However I meticulously planned out the scene I wanted to do, got all the costumes and accessories and explained in detail what I wanted to happen. I waited in bed and as soon as he knocked on our bedroom door in character I knew it was wrong. The cringe consumed my body and I screamed “NO NO FORGET IT DON’T COME IN”. I should have known he wasn’t right for this, when we first met I asked him to talk dirty to me and he came out with “Are you hungry… for cock?”

When my boyfriend broke his ankle a few months ago and came in hobbling in shorts and a tight jumper on his crutches looking all vulnerable, instead of his massive tall lumbering big man self, I was really fucking turned on. Big thighs and shorts are sexy anyway but seeing him all weak for some reason made me feel all nurturing towards him and that turned into unreal horniness. 

I’m submissive, and this overwhelming feeling of needing to smother him and tell him he was such a good brave boy was strange, but it wouldn’t go away. I am the princess in our relationship and he looks after me, from getting me drinks and food to even taking off my trainers when I get in and am too tired to do anything but collapse on the sofa. But I’ve doted on him since he fell down the stairs. I started imagining him as a himbo professional footballer, struck down in his prime, and I, his personal physiotherapist could be the only one to nurse him back to health? Very hot. 

Cuddled up together and making sure he was all propped up, I stroked his thigh and said “you did so well in physio today, but looks like it’s going to be a long recovery. I think you are going to be out for the entire football season” he sat there for a few seconds and said “well with you as my physio I don’t see any problems, do you think you could give me another massage?” 

Finding someone I can slip into roleplay scenarios with, without them being cringe, has been revolutionary. The key has been just to roll with it as it happens and not question it. It never feels dumb or ridiculous but actually just organic and really fucking horny. It’s rare it’s preplanned, sometimes it’s an idea that’s been discussed, but like “god I’d be so turned on if you were my dentist I’d straddle you during a root canal baby fuck yeah”. There might be an ok where the fuck did that come from you horny mess? But it’s always met with a laugh and “sure. ok”. However revolutionary this has been, and been the norm for us for the past three years, the rush and excitement of him just getting fully onboard and immediately involved was still insurmountable. 

Telling him to not move his leg and keep still whilst I went down on him didn’t feel dominant, but still felt like I was someone else. Him grabbing me by my hair and pulling me up to his face and telling me I was “worth every penny” felt incredible and that he was still in control. Asking me if “I did this for all my clients” I shook my head and told him that he was the first and only. I wanted to care for him, but the feeling of taking advantage of his extreme vulnerability was overwhelming. The fact he was in a bit of pain as well, but would be willing to fight through it, completely intoxicating. 

I wanted to watch him struggle a bit, chastise him. I assume this is the feeling that Doms and tops must feel in a broader sense? I had never really contemplated that me being the ‘brat submissive queen’ could be a switch, was it even possible? The only other time we had ever done anything even slightly switchy was when we leaned in to some big Mommy milkers play. Think more big tit appreciation than Homelander salivating at breast milk. I actually liked playing the role of Mommy. It tapped into that same sort of nurturing, twisted condescending feeling, like being my boyfriend's nurse or physiotherapist. But we always subverted that by him playing the role of being vulnerable but then overpowering me or getting out his massive, eye watering, pornstar dick and then topping me. That usually gets me to do anything and no matter how many times i’ve seen it, it always surprises me. 

I stripped down, so my tits were out, and straddled him. I made myself lean back so they were just out of reach for him. I told him to try and grab them, and laughed as he struggled to sit up with his big cumbersome moonboot on his leg. I played with them in front of him, teasing him by just getting in his reach then pulling away again before finally pushing my knickers aside and sliding on his dick, leaning forward so he could finally grab hold of my tits. I made sure to remind him to keep still or he might ruin his recovery and just let me ride him till I felt him cum deep inside me. 

I am sure if my boyfriend and I had planned this out, he would have wanted to add in his playing for Arsenal fantasies and I would have probably gotten too involved and tried to procure a nurse outfit or a physiotherapists outfit(?) But in this case the fun of it was the off the cuff playfulness of it, and taking advantage of the situation, which is really a good jumping off point for doing roleplay. I don’t think that spontaneity is always necessarily the key to role play though, an elaborate planned out scene with someone I feel comfortable with is hands down unbeatable sex. But if you are both new to this or feeling embarrassed, then something impromptu might just work for you.  

If you are planning on trying to fulfill a long held fantasy that involves a lot of moving parts, then my only advice to you is, lower your expectations. You have most likely had this fantasy or idea in your head for a long time, and had all that time to perfect it and tailor it for you and you alone. Communicate it as best you can to your partner but remember that you are highly unlikely to recreate, let’s say, a sexy bank robbery to perfection. As much as you put the effort into recreating your local HSBC branch and getting the right balaclava and replica shooter, it isn’t going to be perfect, and that’s ok.  

Also remember that it is unlikely your partner is going to be as hyped up and enthusiastic as you. This is new to them and no one can compete with the fantasy in your head. So be sure to give them plenty of grace and room to explore it with you. I wish you all well in your roleplay adventures!